In Small Bites

In Small Bites

I was exhausted last night, I keep wondering whether there is something wrong with my immune system making me constantly weak but I think in reality it’s the consequence of one too many rum cocktails and the level of pinball machine thoughts constantly creating noise in my head. Regardless of the cause, I hit the pillow straight after I put Jesse down and decided to begin my foray back into podcasts that I love.

First up was the wonderful Hashtag Authentic and the episode in question is entitled ‘Finding The Why‘ – quite relevant you may think to my ramblings last week. I agree, which is especially why I was intrigued. I lay the phone next to my head and drifted into a level of calm listening to Sara & Kayte’s voices.

Their discussion of what makes specific posts noticeable to us on Instagram slightly awakened me as Kayte was explaining that the best posts or content actually make you feel something about yourself. They remind you of your ‘ideal’. For me that could be seeing a steaming cup of tea in a slightly misshapen pottery cup placed (with all purpose) on a reclaimed coffee table. It speaks to me about the kind of person I think I am, so I’m more likely to double click for that red heart. Kayte similarly was explaining that she reacts better to lifestyle images where you can’t see a personal identity; because it’s easier to imagine yourself in that scene and again leads into the thought of ‘I want that’. Fascinating eh.

I catch myself sometimes not liking certain images because I don’t feel that it’s one I personally could create. My ego takes over completely. I begin to resent the artist behind the image. All in a matter of seconds and I have to metaphorically hard-slap myself back into seeing social media as inspiration and NOT a cesspool of negativity. Me, being my best, every part of me wants to encourage and support my peers without jealously or judgement. Isn’t it interesting though that so much of our emotion is tied up in this little electronic box in our hand. In the world that tells you he who screams the loudest is the most successful… I don’t want to scream at all.

I’m aware this is going back off tangent a little. I was reading Nirrimi (yes, again) earlier and I noticed she writes almost as though each paragraph were a page from a journal. It’s a little haphazard. A collection of thoughts. Coming together to tell an overall story. I miss the stories. I miss when things didn’t revolve around 140 characters or one single image that has to hook attention as you scroll and scroll and scroll. Giving minimal information for maximum response. We saw how that went with those bloody words on the side of a bus that made the majority (just) of the population believe it. What if they had to tell the truth about that on the other side of the bus in bullet points? What if our world leaders stopped making the news via soundbytes and actually because they were making the world a better place.

The noise in my mind has calmed down a little this week. Fforest helped. Pizza Tipi helped. Nature and fresh air and condensation-damp sheets in a Dome tent helped.

And maybe, actually, not scrolling and scrolling and scrolling helped.

Do any of you journal? I dislike my own writing and the effort level puts me off, if I’m being honest. It is easier to sit and type it out on a laptop. It’s most definitely not as cathartic, but it is another non-delayed gratification. However, if you do journal, I’d be interested to know what motivates you. Do you use just a normal lined notebook? Have you a gratitude journal?

C xx